rainbow and other candies....

what now,my love...

I fucked up my life so many times that one more won't make a difference... I feel it. A big fat elephant crushing my spine and a loud open laugh: what did you thought, girl, that life will give you roses out of the sudden instead of the lemons it treated you by now?!ha ha wake up. I'm a big big girl in a small small world. Was not quite like that the song, but improvising should be one of my skills or should have been. So. I am tired. Insomnia and a bitter taste of being defeated by just me, myself and I . So, I don't give a damn, I am just tired and have a kind of nausea all the time. I might get allergic to people soon, beginning with myself! So what, I am a rockstar =)) I didn't mentioned that I never thought this will happen 'cause I am hopelessly a dreamer living in my inner fucking world and you was the first cut is the deepest and the last one is worse!!! I know has no meaning, it does for me. As far as I can still see I am the only one that gives a damn about... Even if I don't...seem so. It is so odd to see me here, on a point where all the roads are leading to hell. I shouldn't be scared, I was there before too many times, was my favourite Holliday resort. You know what? I won't care. I will take all as it came and good night America wherever you are. I willingly go to hell and don't care . Don't you dare to say you do. My ears are hurting,too many lies, I'm tired to believe...damn you. Because I did.

kiss me...

...

I ask for more, I ask for less,
I want it all, I want and...yes,
I am the one who's mad and sure
I'll always be for you, and I endure
as in my heart I know and I do feel,
let's make it happen now and all for real!